"IF ONLY"

I woke up one day thinking of the days I spent with you.
I thought I was still dreaming but then I realize it is true.
That my life would be sweeter if only you’re still mine,
Unlike today, it feels like I am clinging on a vine.

Wish I gave a chance for you to explain
I only think of my own feelings that’s been hurt & in pain
Kept convincing myself that I don’t love you anymore,
But been crying since then and every night until my eyes sore

I remember believing every word that you have said,
You were so sweet & caring creature God has ever made.
I loved the way you look at me while saying I am your life,
And said you always want to see me and be your future wife.

Together we built our dreams then,
But things went wrong just all of a sudden.
It seems like my heart was stabbed a multiple times,
Your confession I heard sounded like a fallen chimes.

We were both crying after that revelation,
I thought I am just the only one who’s in the sensitive condition.
I didn’t listen to the other things you said,
I left you standing there, went home, and cried on my bed.

Years went by so fast and unnoticeable,
I heard you were fine and got a job that is stable.
Then one day I accidentally talked with your mother,
She said a lot of things that had made me bother:
“I believe that my son had loved you very much,
He kept all of your pictures that no one was allowed to touch,”
“The truth was revealed when his ex-girlfriend went wild,
Which caused miscarriage of what she claimed their child”.

Upon hearing those words my knees gone weak,
My teardrops fell and I can not speak.
I discovered you also suffered as much as I do,
Went on with your life and tried to forget me, too.

Now I know that you’re already happy living without me,
I would try to live my life the way that it should be.
There are so many ‘what ifs” forming on my mind,
It’s useless now so I’ll just leave it all behind.